I think it comes from the hour of devotional, Book of Mormon, and personal study.
There are so many ways that I feel inadequate.
I am often so keenly aware of my own weaknesses. Often, it's not a sense of discouragement, but one of humility. I can see where I am and how far I have to go. It is only the promise of the Atonement and the hope that His Grace brings that gives me courage and purpose in this life. It is the only thing that really enables me and gives me the strength to go on, even for just one more day.
What about you, then?
Can someone as weak as me really do you justice?
You know I often feel like someone is asking me to justify myself; that I'm old enough, mature enough, strong enough to really take care of you...
But when it comes down to it, I don't really have all that much to offer. I can't really justify myself. I can't really boast of myself; boast of qualities that I have that make me a fair candidate. When it comes down to it, I'm just me. I'm just a young girl full of hope; a bundle of mistakes held together by good intentions.
I mess up.
A lot.
And I can't promise you more that I already have to give.
The critics are right, sometimes, and I think that's why I hate it so much.
I am young.
Of course I can be immature.
I am inexperienced,
and I have a lot of growth to do.
They're right; they're right about all of that.
"Why?!" They ask me, "Why are you getting married now? You are so young!"
They wait after that, and the silence grows. They wait for me to start justifying myself. They want an answer.
But I have no response.
And so I give none.
No, I can't promise you a lot.
I can't promise you the homemaking skills that continue to mystify me and I can't promise you the growth that has yet to come. I think it will come, and I have faith it will come, but I can't promise to be more than I already am.
But, Aaron,
the man who took a chance on me,
the bumbling, bright-eyed girl fresh on her own feet,
the man who teaches me every single day what a beautiful Daughter of God I am,
the man who sees more in me than I do in myself,
who helps me be more like the person I've always dreamed of becoming,
Aaron, I can promise you some things.
I can promise you that although I'll mess up, I'll always keep on trying.
I promise that though sometimes I might wander, I'll always find my way back to you.
I promise I will always keep changing and stretching to become a better wife for you.
I promise my love; my unconditional love for you.
I promise my devotion.
I promise you my two working hands to build a family and life with.
I promise a listening ear and a shoulder to share your burdens with.
I promise to counsel on my knees with my Father in Heaven on your behalf.
I promise a faith and trust in you that will follow as you lead our family, wherever we may go.
I promise a willingness to sacrifice anything for you and for our marriage.
I promise to make you my very best friend and confidant.
I promise you a tender heart that will always soften for you.
I don't promise to be more than I am,
but I promise to give you all that I am.
I love you.
You are the blessing that makes me laugh and brings more light into my every day.
The things that were once mundane have become a joy because of your presence.
The love you show me helps me to better know the love of my Father and Savior.
I know how much they love me, because they gave me you to love.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I couldn't find anyone better,
and I don't want anyone else.
I honestly can't describe all that you are to me,
but you give me a reason to wake up every morning,
and something to cherish and love and grow for.
When something makes you love the life you have,
you never let that thing go.
You do everything you can to hold it close.
I promise, with all that I have, that I won't give up,
because it's not you,
it's not me,
it's us,
and that is something I will always fight,
defend,
and struggle for.
Karen
