Once upon a time...

...I'm a college student.
This new life is new in every single way possible. Except, perchance, for the mountains that have always stood, guarding me for as long as I can remember (thanks, mountains). Those are the same here in Provo and are still the comfort of home.
There is SO MUCH for me to learn, and sometimes my humility toes the line of discouragement.
But discouragement is NOT conducive to learning; it's the exact opposite. Humility comes from God, and discouragement from that other guy.
Last Sunday, I sat in my new ward, eyeing the unfamiliar surroundings and trying to steady my heart. The Spirit, however, was always the same. Always feeding, comforting, nourishing.
I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and opened my heart. "What shall I fast for?"
The worries that had been creeping on the edge of my mind bloomed; they seemed like a pretty darn good thing to fast for.
"Please bless me to be ok as a freshman...please bless me to be safe from creepy RMs as a freshman...please bless me that I won't EXPLODE as a freshman..."
...but it wasn't cutting it.
In my mind, I quietly got the idea, a prompting if you will, to fast for the opportunity to SERVE in my new life.
I was hesitant and didn't quite understand. I did it anyways.
Yesterday, I was tired. I didn't want to go to school today, and I couldn't care less about the syllabus quizzes that were approaching. I didn't feel interesting in learning and even questioned what I was doing at BYU. After sulking on the couch with some Netflix I still wasn't feeling better.
Jessica and I got ready for bed, and I lingered for moment in the living room, reading the Latter-Day Saint magazine "The Ensign" and munching quietly on some Cheerios.
The Spirit spoke to me then as I read, a quiet, pure, and so, so sacred communication. I learned a lot.
I remembered my fast.
I bowed my head, humbled once more. I knew I would find meaning in my new life as I served and followed this advice.
"How?" I wondered. "How do I serve? I don't know any of these thousands of people that surround me."
I realized that God had actually given me many opportunities to serve, and that it was my job to take them. One of which had been the service groups I had signed up for on campus that had sounded like fun. I could be a missionary that way.
I quickly got on my phone and contacted one of those groups. As I was punching on my phone, my friend and only other roommate besides Jessica, Tori, walked into the apartment.
She'd just had her first shift at her new job.
She slumped on the couch. Somehow, and I'm not quite sure how except for the Spirit, we got to talking about some things that she struggles with and discussed some of my own haunts from the past. My tears mirrored her own, and we had a truly sacred experience of sharing, lifting and loving. I knew how aware God was of both of us in that moment.
"This is why you are here," the thought came. I am here to love. To serve. I am here to see what I can give instead of demanding that BYU gives to me.
After our talk and hug, I realized that the energy I had been missing had returned. I felt refreshed and didn't balk at the idea of facing my books the next day.
How on earth did I end up so lucky to have so many blessings? I am taught lessons over and over by my Heavenly Father, and every time I am taught with the utmost tenderness and patience. Why does Heavenly Father love and appreciate me so much when it's impossible for me to come close to repaying Him for all He's done for me?
That, my friends, is the beauty of the Atonement. That is the incredible, impossible but true promise of my Father and Savior's love.
This time of my life is full of lessons and learning. But I love Him. He quietly teaches and nourishes me.
I love Him.

(From the Book of Mormon)
Mosiah 18:8-10
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
10 Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

More info on my church and what I believe:
www.mormon.org
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